this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
