I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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