4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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