im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
