i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
