just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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