She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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