She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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