I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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