Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I want her autograph on my taint
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
