i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
