I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize