Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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