He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I will pee on everything he values.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
