Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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