I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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