Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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