So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
