Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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