I hope mine doesn't look like that
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
