If i come over, it means nothing
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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