ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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