i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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