erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
