I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
