Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
