pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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