And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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