the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
