ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
