At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize