he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
