It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize