i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
