I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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