using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
