I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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