That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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