I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
