She is in my trunk
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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