So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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