Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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