im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
