you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
