do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
