Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
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just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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