this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
