I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
