What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
