dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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