I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
