Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize