Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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