Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
