You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
