the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
