I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
