I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
