I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
