I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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