she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize